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Face Up Interactive

July 31st, 2017

Face Up Interactive

~ Dar Freeland

A measure of one's strength, is to know one can stand in the face of no evidence - and remain the observer despite a crazy environment. He can maintain calm in a sea of chaos - stay intact, when everything nearby is imploding.

One can smile at the wonder of it all.

When one refuses to collapse into those around him, he demonstrates an inner mandala, a self-righting machine. He notices and experiences a network of self unity, certainty and commitment. This inner-empowerment cradles a knowing heart through the deepest challenges and the darkest of nights the soul will face.

And one will smile at the wonder of it.

A healthy person will deconstruct at his own pace - the things about himself that no longer serve him. Remaining at peace, and with grace - through a disciplined mind while letting go, is the greatest spiritual muscle one will ever test.

And the Universe will smile at the wonder of it.

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

What could be possible if we approached our inter-relating from a totally accountable perspective - setting aside our justifications (victim stories), pride & finger pointing? It is counter-intuitive to the ego, but consider, what if instead of accusing one "out there" for our unhappiness and constructing a story we lay into cement to justify the blame imposed on another - what if we could see it differently?
Assuming the observer chose to turn his blame of another person off for a second, and look back at it possible that the observer himself has created the fertile soil for the other person to feel unsafe? It doesn't feel like a place to be emotionally present and loving. Don't we see this in all relating that is derailed with conflict?

May the observer have been the one, blinded by his own pain (and human fallibility) that struck out destructively at another with such ferocity - that a person might never choose to approach the observer again with an open heart? So everyone acts numb. What right then would the observer have, to complain that another is not as warm or loving - when it is they who created the threatening environment?

Could the other person who has been holding back, stop and honor the admission with respect?

Is it possible the observer caused, with rage or destructive behavior the unstable ground the two now walk upon? Could the observer be the one who owes amends, and who needs to earn that person's trust again?

Who is the observer, and who is the other person?

And to make it juicier, how much power would the Self realize, if it chose to take responsibility for having helped to create an unsafe environment in the first place? Of course it takes two to create the dance of chaos while relating - but how empowered could we all really be once realizing that "if I helped to create it, I could take steps to amend it?" Victim story - vaporized.

If true, how powerful may it be for the observer to ask forgiveness, say "I'm sorry," work to earn back trust? Instead of weaving justifications created from the fabrication of a victim story... then could the observer admit to a loved one, that, "I am human, I messed up and I want to earn your trust back?"

Nothing in this text suggests that a person tolerate abuse of any kind, verbal or otherwise, and that the utmost in self-care and personal responsibility is to cradle ourselves with love, and protect ourselves from those who would wish or cause us harm.

Stepping forward could the humility, coupled with the reclaiming of a sense of power in a situation - then be a foundation for building a new, more strengthened and empowered way of relating? Could another person then feel safe in being 100% open?

If one would approach an impasse with self-love, expressed with integrity and personal responsibility towards a person who may just have built a wall around their heart to protect themselves, then how could our love and mutual respect grow from that perspective?

Perhaps, even the other person's ego will step back, in the light of re-discovering the seductive yet accurate power of accountability, and would take the risk to admit how they too contributed to any breakdown or suppressed feelings of love.

What re-invention is possible from this expressed and empowered blank slate?

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

A devastating moment is here to do to itself what I think it is doing to me. It longs to be reborn to the positive truth it intended to be. Love asks to be seen. We cloud its perfection with self-authored stories and illusions to support being right, winning or crippling a perceived attack we have decided is coming our way.

I am the author of my own tragedies, comedies, dramas and decisions about "how it is" - and once I get that truth, no healing is out of my reach. I am what I say, what I think, what I declare, what I believe - these are all the tools to craft what is.

What meaning do I assign to a thing, what role do I play in my own movie and how may I rewrite it now to better serve what I say I really want?

This is how it can be, to be truly free.

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

True Friends love you when they see you hurting. They kiss you when you have a tear in your eye. They keep you warm with a blanket. They say "I love you" over and over until you GET it. They stand as the light while your vision is blocked by your own shadow.

If God gave us everything, then everything we need is here. It is our opportunity and choice to reach out and use what was given. We lack nothing. It is our purpose, to hand to others what we now know.

True Friends. Simple love. No strings.
Thank you Friends.

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

Identify my beliefs about a thing, identify its function and value in my life. What is driving my feelings and behavior? Check.

Admit that some negativity or story is there, and is running me. Do I feel out of control? I must be close to the truth. Check.

Admit that it has been here, it served its purpose. Allow the truth to "be". There is no proving, no conflict. Just "now". Check.

Stop grasping, stop holding onto illusions, throw old beliefs into the air and watch them float away. Surrender all to healing, with wisdom, open heart and grace. Check.

There is nothing to fear about the "empty nest" syndrome devoid of all my dramas and stories that lived in my head. The silence is bliss. It only makes more room for love, light, new synapses, inspiration, creativity, quantum healing, fun and fierce ideas for making more joy. How bad is that really?

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

Anger and pain only last a moment, just drama that blurts forth in its self indulgent way. Comes then goes...and we can be the observer, or the catcher. It only stays if we grasp at it then hold on tight. When we make a fist, some stuff may get caught in there, then it is ours forever.

Unless we let go.

Blame and shame at our own emotions...the intolerance demonstrated against our own selves for being human, for losing our way, for being less than perfect - like throwing gas on a fire. True for ALL parties. It never is about anyone "out there" - other people are the screens onto which we project our movie. Can anyone other than anger's author even distinguish between "attack" and "accuracy" - and doesn't the receiver have his own movie playing simultaneously - governed by his own script? Are we so small that a bleating ego can crush a true and infinite love?

So what, now what?

"I'm sorry" is only the starting gun to the race - a sprint to the solution. If we can't hear the gun, we don't even know the race has begun. Perhaps we'd rather lose ourselves in the anesthesia of all that feels nothing, or what we think will feel "good" and will ultimately have us feel more shame...leaving us only to think, think, think.

Stuck on our hamster wheel of thought, our hearts wither and cry themselves to sleep.

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~ Dar Freeland

When we are in the presence of someone hurting, do we see outside ourselves to their feelings, or do we interrupt our natural response of compassion? If a child were hurting, would we just shake our head and pass by, yelling "hey! suck it up!" or would we stop and with empathy, love the little one until it feels safe and out of pain? What do we do with the children of the mind? In an adult body, or a shorter young body - makes no matter the size. It is a child's pain in an older frame.

So, when faced with a wound - of our loved one, or our own - are we sunshine that heals, or salt that stings?

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

~Dar Freeland

Since we are all contemplating our individual situations of "Love" - it felt useful to share something I learned recently. We've all heard "this too shall pass" - yet I've witnessed for years that imprints collected over a life of emotional wounding - don't "pass." They embed in our emotional memories and arise to ask for healing recognition and release on a regular basis. But do we notice them and respond? Do we honor the past once and for all with our validation or gloss over the feelings, pushing them farther down to emerge again as an "issue?"

Once we acknowledge the source of our pain or aggravation, then the energy of the wound holds no further purpose and will release. This is a concept I've attempted to convey for many years, in teaching how to honor one's feelings. We are not "crazy" or over reacting when we feel passionate about a thing...we are usually reacting to a "stack" of things that have the same energetic fingerprint - a sort of "straw that broke the camels' back." It isn't the one thing we are reacting to, it is the that one thing on top of a stack of history bearing the same imprint.

When something stacks up - our reactions aren't at that ONE thing, the reaction is most likely backed by (the unconscious collected evidence) the STACK of things. So taking personal responsibility - and to give ourselves our own power back, we can look at the reaction of a thing and know we are not "crazy" - we can have compassion for self, and for others, for carrying a stack of things, and know the reaction is leading us to our ultimate healing. Once we experience and honor the release of the past...the present moment can express as nothing more than a benign response, or even better, a neutral event - freeing up the space for joy to come forward.

© 1997-2017 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved